To say the least, mornings are rough at my house.
They look nothing like this....
They look nothing like this....
Without going into much detail-I got really mad at Tenlee the other morning. I dropped her off at daycare and didn't say good-bye, I love you, or give her a hug/kiss. I just walked out.
I was so angry...afterward I stopped at PDQ for a soda and a cookie, and cried the whole way to school thinking about how mean of a mom I was. I couldn't help but think I was going to die that day. And I'd be gone, and never get a chance to say those words again, that she wouldn't know I loved her because I stormed out without acknowledging her. I beat myself up all day because I 'left' like that. But it got me thinking....
That night, I picked her up and we had a great night together. And we talked about what happened earlier that day. She looks up at me, with those glossy little tired eyes and says: I be good so I can have a hug and a kiss! It hurt me, but it also made me realize that she understood what had happened that day. The concepts that little girl can grasp are incredible.
Everything went MUCH more smoothly this morning. (And I didn't die, and she still loves her mommy). Mornings are so stressful for me. We leave the house nearly every morning before 7am, and I'm always in a rush. I know it's partially my fault because I don't allow enough time in the morning, but she's never ready to go and never wants to walk. She's almost 3...I can't carry you all the time, child. Especially juggling a backpack, a diaper bag, our lunches, a phone, keys and any other random toy/movie/blanket she demands to take with her for the day.
Anyway-I learned my lesson, and I'm positive I will NEVER leave her again without a hug, a kiss and an I LOVE YOU! Because when I go to pick her up at night....the best feeling a mom can get is when my daughter, that I've missed all day, screams: Mama! And comes running in my direction! My heart melts and puts a big smile on my face. Nothing else matters.
Do your parents tell you they love you? Mine don't....for as long as I can remember, they haven't. And I don't like it. I know my parents love me, and they know I love them-why can't we say it? But after 25 years of not, its hard to say it.
I want Tenlee to always tell me she loves me, and I will make it a point to do the same.
I LOVE YOU TENLEE!
Hi Taryn,
ReplyDeleteI just came across your blog on Facebook. I love all your posts...you're a good writer! Great pictures too. Tenlee is growing up so fast!
I have actually been blogging about my time in Hawaii and have really been enjoying it. I'll continue to follow your blog! =)
Megan
Megan....what's your blog? If I could read blogs all day, I would-I'm obsessed. I'd love to follow yours too. Yay!!
ReplyDeleteTorg---
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this post. When I first left for college, my mom would tell me all the time on the phone that she loved me. But being the teenager you know I was, I didn't say it back for the longest time (it was as though I wanted to punish her; it must have broken her heart to not hear it back). I feel bad looking back at it. Whenever my mom/dad and I talk now, we always tell eachother that we love eachother. I think it's important to tell those you love that you do. Heck, we always end our conversations reminding eachother!
Love you!
Lori
ps. i totally follow your blog. fyi.
Taryn! On behalf of all moms, thanks for posting. I think we all have days and feelings like this. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MOM! Just look at your happy, beautiful girl. And tell your mom and dad "I love you!" The more you say it, the easier it is. They feel the same way about you as you do about Tenlee. - AVG :-)
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